


inside this moment

by ephemera (incognitajones)



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: (barely) established relationship, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, RebelCaptain May the Fourth Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-25 22:31:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18710992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incognitajones/pseuds/ephemera
Summary: To Jyn, this mission felt almost like a holiday—just her and Cassian on a small, shabby freighter cruising in short hops from one Mid-Rim planet to another. It was almost the kind of life she might have dreamed about having, once upon a time.





	inside this moment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Essi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Essi/gifts).



> A gift for Essi/[@twentycupsoftea](http://twentycupsoftea.tumblr.com) in the 2019 Rebelcaptain May the 4th exchange.

Someone was watching them.

It was what they were here for, of course, so Jyn tried to shove away the anxiety and paranoia crawling up her spine, relax her shoulders… she was no-one worth paying attention to, just half of a well-off couple enjoying a market day. 

She looked over at Cassian, strolling beside her like a man without a care in the world. She wondered how much it was costing him to keep that up; his back and his hip were still healing, and probably would never be quite the same again. But he fit the role of prosperous shopper much better than she did. The dark wine-coloured shirt he wore set off his colouring and made him even more handsome than usual. Plenty of people eyed him as they passed, as acquisitively as if he were one of the pluots for sale; in a momentary spasm of possessiveness, Jyn reached out to take his hand. It fit their cover—and besides, she was sleeping with him, wasn’t she allowed to hold his hand?

He looked down at her, brown hair falling in his eyes, and tilted his head in inquiry. She just squeezed his fingers in hers and said, “Let’s stop for lunch.” That would give Cassian a chance to rest his leg, and if they stayed in one place their contact might approach sooner. 

Jyn wasn’t sure she was the best choice for these missions, or Intelligence in general frankly, but Cassian had made the cogent point that it would be good for her to go on a few short and simple missions to see if she could fit into the Rebel Intelligence corps. Draven had agreed with better grace than Jyn expected (very possibly, she figured, he was using this as an excuse to give Cassian a rest that he’d accept). He’d given them a list of upcoming message drops and asset meetings and told them to get them done within a standard week. 

To Jyn, it felt almost like a holiday—just her and Cassian on a small, shabby freighter cruising in short hops from one Mid-Rim planet to another. It was almost the kind of life she might have dreamed about having, once upon a time. But better, because there was someone to share it with her: working together, eating together, sleeping on the narrow berth in the single cabin and waking together. 

And she didn’t have to stop herself from reaching out to touch Cassian now. She swung their linked hands back and forth defiantly, like a child showing off, and when he gave her a slightly confused smile, she tugged him over to a stand selling hot drinks and pastries. She bet he didn’t often get a chance to indulge his sweet tooth.

With frothed spiced milk and flaky stuffed buns in hand, they found room at one of the central tables set up for shoppers who wanted a break. Jyn sat on the end of one table, her legs swinging, and Cassian sat on the bench, his back leaning against her thigh. Between the two of them, they commanded almost a 360 degree view of the whole market square. 

“I haven’t seen them yet,” Jyn remarked. She tore a bite off her bun, trying to get to the smoky sausage filling she could smell through the dough. “But I definitely felt someone watching,” she added indistinctly.

Cassian sipped his drink and his eyes moved behind the rim of his cup, marking, scanning, noting, and filtering through each face in the crowd. “I haven’t spotted them either,” he admitted. “But they’re an old hand, one of our long-term assets. They were one of my teachers when I started off.” 

“Really.” Jyn was delighted. The thought of meeting someone who could perhaps tell stories about Cassian, fledgling spy, was very intriguing. She ducked her head to press a kiss to the crown of Cassian’s head. When he tipped his head backward to look at her, she couldn’t suppress a smirk. 

“What?” he demanded, straightening up and turning his head.

“You’ve got...” she twirled a finger around her upper lip, indicating the moustache of froth that Cassian now wore over his own. 

He rolled his eyes at her and wiped it away with the back of his hand. Jyn snickered and went back to unobtrusively searching the crowd.

The Imperial presence was worn lightly on this city; it was prosperous, and orderly, and people looked mostly content. The market was bustling. But there were still signs, signs that Jyn might have ignored in the days she kept her head down. Parents kept their children close, hand in hand, no running through the crowded lanes allowed. A father argued with his teenaged daughter in low tones as they passed; Jyn heard him begging her not to enlist in the Academy. 

Jyn had finally given up on trying to stay apathetic. Still, for her the cause was wrapped up in people—wanting to protect those who were ground down, crushed, wounded or killed by the Empire: the ones she knew and the ones she’d never know, like the people shopping for the day’s meal all around her and the girl who just wanted to be a pilot, like Bodhi. Cassian was different; like Saw, he’d have fought for the abstract value of freedom no matter what. 

But sometimes she wished for a day like this, in a world that didn’t have the shadow of the Empire insinuating itself everywhere... if they could have that for once, she’d be happy.

Jyn set her drink down on the table beside her and tentatively reached out, cupping her hand over the back of Cassian’s neck. Her thumb stroked along his spine and she felt him shift under her hand.

“You’re distracting me,” he said, and she didn’t know whether that was a joking complaint, a tease, or an actual problem. So she stopped and drew her hand away, putting it in her lap for lack of anything else to do with it, and scanned the market again, trying to look like a bored shopper.

A flash of sterile white caught her eye. Troopers, moving through the other entrance to the market and spreading out. She nudged Cassian with her knee; he’d already seen them and was standing. Slowly, leisurely, not like anyone who was worried about Imps finding them.

No clouds dimmed the sun, the wind hadn't risen, and yet Jyn had to hold back a shiver. An unnatural quiet spread over the market as the awareness of what was happening was transmitted slowly across the square from eye to eye. A toddler screamed, and was swiftly hushed. This wasn’t a routine patrol; this was a lockdown.

She knew their evasive routine, it had been planned out long beforehand: abort the meeting, split up, get back to the ship separately as fast as possible. They'd never had to use it yet, though.

Jyn took an instant to hug Cassian tight before she picked up her bag to go. He kissed her on the cheek, the quick absentminded gesture of a busy spouse, and she forced herself to let go of his sleeve. “See you soon,” she said, and left without looking back.

They were checking scandocs, she saw as she got closer to the bridge that led out of the market square on this side. She wasn’t worried about that; she’d fabricated both of theirs for this trip and they’d stand up to anything short of a full background check. But the troopers were being thorough, and if they were scanning retinas, too… 

She brought her commlink up to her mouth and tapped out Cassian’s code. 

“What is it, Varana?” he said, staticky and far-away.

“You forgot your jacket, _dear_ ,” she gritted out between her teeth, trying to sound bored and irritated.

“I think I lost it, actually, but I’m a little busy right now,” he said. Jyn bit her lip bloodless at their code phrase for _going radio silent_. “Meet you at home later.”

 

Jyn sat curled on the galley bench, her arms folded around her knees and gripping her crystal in one fist so tight it left ridges on her palm. Her lips were moving and though she’d never have admitted it, she’d been repeating Chirrut’s mantra silently to herself for the past hour. 

She should have known. If things were too good to be true, they usually weren’t either good or true. She’d let herself be lulled into complacency by how easily the rest of this trip had gone. If Cassian missed the first time limit to return... the second... what would she do?

But then the hatch slid open and there he was. His eyes went unerringly to her and he smiled: a real, full, smile, the kind she hoarded in her memory for bad days and when he wasn’t around. He came to her slowly, his steps lagging just a little, and she stood up to clutch him into her arms. “Thank the Force.” His voice was low and hoarse. “I couldn’t call you back, they were jamming transmissions and it was too risky.” He rested his chin on the top of her head and she felt him swallow hard. 

Jyn had been monitoring the local news and law enforcement frequencies, listening for anything relevant, hoping she wasn’t about to hear of a Rebel spy apprehended. “Somebody hijacked a weapons shipment on its way to the Imp garrison,” she told him. “They caught them, that’s why they finally lifted the lockdown.”

It could have been her, so many times. She hated being relieved that some poor sod was in Imperial prison instead of them. But at least it meant they were safe for now. She didn't say it out loud, too superstitious to put it into words. 

Cassian looked down at her, and her heart bounced against the inside of her ribs. Jyn knew she was selfish and hard; in her life she’d had to be. But she never wanted to be like that with Cassian. She didn’t know how to be generous, but he made her want to try—to give him anything he wanted. 

“Come here and lie down,” she told him. They settled on the bed with her back propped against the wall, her legs stretched out, and Cassian’s head on her lap. She pushed her fingers into Cassian’s hair, dragging them over his scalp. His eyelids swung shut slowly, like a drunken man, and the noise he made sounded very promising. She worked them through again, rubbing the curve of his skull, pressing her thumb into the small divot behind his ear where she could feel tension hovering. This noise was louder, even though he turned his head into her lap to muffle it—a definitive moan.

She bent down and whispered in his ear, “How long can I do this?” 

“As long as you want,” he muttered into her leg.

She folded herself down around him, curling her arms protectively over his head. She laid her cheek against his, cupped her hand around the back of his neck and stroked through his hair again. She pressed her lips against his cheekbone and moved down, dotting a trail of little kisses to his mouth. She hesitated there, waiting to see if he’d pull away, but he turned his head a fraction and their mouths brushed together, quick and light. 

She twined herself around him on the bed and kissed everywhere she could reach: the soft domes of his closed eyes, the sensitive hollow under his ear, the warm skin of his neck and shoulder. She slid lower, unbuttoning his pants with one hand, and he lifted his head to watch her. His mouth opened as though he were about to say something, but then he closed it and she ducked her head to taste him.

Her fingers dug into his hips to press him down and she let her teeth scrape along his length, just a little. He swallowed back a gasp and his hands gripped the sheets hard enough to pull them free of the bed at the side. When she wrapped her hand tight around him and stroked, his hips strained up.

“Jyn…” he said, ragged and hoarse. “Come here.” He wound his fingers into her hair and tugged, a little harder than usual. She crawled back up his body and hovered over him on hands and knees. He surprised her with a sudden surge upward and somehow she ended up in his lap. His bare skin was warm and tantalizing. She let her fingers stroke up his flanks to his shoulders and down his spine over and over, brushing over the scar on his back every time to feel him shiver against her. Cassian’s hands skimmed gently over her, teasing circles around her breasts, trailing sparks and goosebumps as he touched her everywhere but where she ached for him. 

Most people Jyn fucked hadn’t bothered much with the preliminaries; she hadn’t herself. Cassian’s interest in detours, in exploration and extensive inquiry of every part of her, was a new and sometimes overwhelming thing. He wanted to know her, it seemed, every millimetre of her, and today he was focused on learning them all over again. He traced her scars, her freckles, discovered her ticklish places and the ones that drove her into wild desperate pleasure. The slow, sweet drag of his tongue rasped over every nerve like a live wire.

Her brain dissolved into white noise and when she came back to herself she was clinging to Cassian’s shoulders, gasping for breath. He was kissing her sweaty hair and temples, across her cheek, back up to her forehead. His mouth was softer now, and the lines of his face had settled into the ones that spoke of happiness held back rather than hurt. Jyn supposed it was a good sign, at least, that she could read them. He tipped his head down to rest his cheek alongside hers and she held on to him, refusing to let go just yet. 

They might never have more than an afternoon of peace, a daydream soon shattered by reality. But working and fighting alongside someone she loved was enough—more than she ever thought she’d have.

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, I had a severe mental block on your prompt (“You forgot your jacket.” + “No, I lost my jacket!”) and this was as close as I could get to fitting it into the story. I hope that's okay.
> 
> Things this story wouldn't have been finished without: timely reassurance from **brynnmclean** , **xyz0608** , and **rain_sleet_snow** ; Mason Jennings' ["Be Here Now"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGZGbPm0NHI) on repeat over and over (and over).


End file.
